The Nightmares
by VirginiaTin
Summary: Okay, this is my version of what could happen after what they showed us in sneak peaks - 5x21 . Gravedigger's trial, B&B and... Well, if you don't want to be spoiled, don't read this:


**Disclaimer: 'Bones' does not belong to me.**

**A/N: Okay, if you didn't see sneaks peaks to the 5x21 episode and you don't want to be spoiled, better don't read this!**

_**~The Nightmares~**_

Every single night you have nightmares. You can do nothing about that. On the beginning it was the worst. You couldn't deal with them. You didn't say a word, didn't need a pity.

Then you get over it; nightmares were less often, they didn't appear every night, but you still had them.

When Booth was kidnapped, everything came back, everything get worse again. It wasn't nightmares about you and Hodgins anymore, they were also about Booth. They were a hundred times worse than normal. You couldn't deal with death of beloved person, even in a dream. For you it was impossible.

For the next months, you had nightmares every night, you almost didn't sleep, you were worn out, but you still worked as much as always. It was work what take your thoughts away from your dreams. It was your escape into the world of science.

After those sleepless nights, the nightmares started to calm down, but you still wake up in the middle of the night, sweated. It's been three years since your kidnap, since Booth's more than a year. But the wounds on your mind are still fresh, still not healed. And now, that trial. You are afraid that Taffett can go free and. The nightmares came back with double force. You see bleeding Hodgins and drowning Booth. You can't help anymore. You helpless watch them dying, you scream, can't do anything. Then you wake up, wet from sweat, tangled in a sheets. You try to calm down, but calming down doesn't take a few minutes, it takes much longer, it takes much more strength. After a nightmare, you never go back to sleep again, you can't. Sound awake and shaking, you sit in the living room with your laptop on your knees and a cup of steaming coffee in one hand. But you don't write, your Muse is gone, you sit, looking blindly at the screen until the coffee get cold. You still see pictures from your dream.

Earlier, You used to call Booth with some silly things, only to make sure that he's alive, that he's safe and sound. For you it was enough to hear his sleepy voice to calm down. But now, when he declared his feelings for you, when he took the risk. You won't do it. You won't call him in the riddicuolous hour in the morning to hear his voice. You know that it is not appropriate. You opened the door, you didn't want to use. You can't give him useless hope. And of course, you don't want sleepy Catherine to answer one of your phones. You couldn't take this. You know that he's going to move on, but your heart still can't understand your mind's decision. So You like better to suffer alone, you like better to not say a thing and wait until the morning, with trembling hands, afraid that something bad could've happened to him.

"It can't be longer like that.' you think. But you can do nothing about that. Completely nothing. It's getting worse. Closer to the trial, the nightmare's are getting worse, they are more awful, more cruel. You always were strong, but nightly watching the death of your friends, scare you. Make that your concentration is lower. You're afraid you won't find the evidence quickly enough. You're afraid she's going to get free and then your dreams will come true. It's your worst nightmare, your dreams come true.

He comes to you, says he let you do this all alone. That it's your case. You got scared. Now, it will be your fault if Gravedigger will get free, yours and no one else's. You have to focus now, you know it. But nightmares make it impossible for you, they don't let you concentrate. You think 'I have nightmares, Booth.' and after a while you realize that you said it aloud. That he hears and understands. You add more "Hodgins is bleeding, you're drowning. I can't help anymore.' you say terrified on the edge of your strength. You try not to cry aloud with helplessness.

He comes closer to you, trying to calm you down. "... I promise." he ends his speech, then he embraces you. He hugs you like he wants to protect you from the whole world. You feel love radiating from him, feel a warm of his body... feel... you don't exactly know what you're feeling, but that something makes your tears fall down uncontrollable. He hugs you tighter, you feel his shirt is soaked wet from your tears. He brushed them away from your cheeks, using his thumb. This one, small move makes the dam in you to break. You confess everything to him. You tell him the truth, the truth about your nightmares, about your phones at night, about everything. You cry in his arms and he patiently keep you, trying to protect you from the evils of the world. Even if he knows that's impossible.

You're getting weaker, a days of worn out take better of you. His arms are so welcoming, so warm and so safe. Your lashes are getting heavier and eventually they close. Your breath get slower, muscles loosen up. He feels it, then he makes sure you're sound asleep and lift you gently. You cuddle to him immediately. He carries you to the bedroom, lies you on the bed. He wants to walk out but you grab his hand. "Don't leave me, please." you whisper in your sleep. He stays and lies beside you. You quickly cuddle to him and his arms embrace you safely.

This night, the nightmare doesn't come. You feel his warm beside you and you know he's safe. You aren't afraid. This night you sleep well, so the next day you could have new strengths for a fight with the Gravedigger. And you need strength, you have to win this battle. You just must. You don't know what you're going to do if you don't, if Taffett will go free. You don't know what you'll do if you nightmares will come true...

_**~The end~**_


End file.
